Breaking the Wall of Weird
by Omegahugger
Summary: Superman's eternal battle against Lex Luthor leads him to Japan, but he saves a little girl in the middle of his hunt. The problem is, can he now defend her from the beast awaiting to strike?
1. A Crash Encounter

_Testing, Testing, Is this thing on? Okay._ Welcome, dear reader, to Breaking the Wall of Weird, my first fanfic and, to my knowledge, the first Lucky Star/Superman crossover. Now, as this is my first fanfic, any constructive criticism will be recieved with my utmost thanks. Also, _Italics_ means that it is thought and **Bold** means it is in english. Just so you know the difference. C:

Obligatory disclaimer: Lucky Star is owned beKagami Yoshimizu, Superman is owned by DC comics

Now, let's get this started, shall we?

* * *

**Chapter 1 - A Crash Encounter**

As Konata left the school, she had no idea what the day would bring. But her big plans were big. Granted, the day didn't start so well. She had gotten too little sleep and forgot to do her homework. But now the day would simply improve. First she was off to Anim*te to buy the new game that just came out. Following that, Miyuki and the Hiiragi twins where coming over for a study session combined with a sleepover. No matter how much homework Kuroi-sensei had thrown at her, with Kagami here, it was doomed. There was simply no way this day could go wrong.

* Ø * Ø *

As Superman flew over the Japanese cityscape, he had no idea what the day would bring. But he had his hopes. Lex Luthor had travelled to Japan for some reason, but knowing him that reason wasn't a good one. Not for the common folk at least. And as it was Batman's task to stop the Joker's schemes, so was it Superman's to stop Luthor's. Even if it meant leaving America and going to the Far East.

But Japan isn't exactly a small area, and Superman had absolutely no clues to go by. Luthor could be involved with the yakuza, recovering new weapon technology or even trying to control Godzilla!

_But something just doesn't add up. _Superman thought to himself. _It's as if-_

His train of thought was cut off as he, through his x-ray vision, saw a suspicious-looking man sneak up on a blue haired grade-schooler. The man's most striking features were his red apron and his rather wild hair. It was like taken out of Dragon Ball or something. Superman acted fast, crashing through the wall and knocking him across the room with a single punch. Standing before him was now a dumbstruck girl staring at alternatively him and the wall behind him. Or rather, lack of wall.

"Do you realise what you just did!" she asked in a rather agitated tone.

"I just stopped a stalker from harassing a child." Superman answered, perplexed by the girl's reaction. This was not what he had expected.

"You just destroyed a wall in one of my favourite stores! Now they have to spend money repairing, which means they have less money to buy goods, which means I won't get the new products, which again makes me suffer from an otaku STARVATION!" The girl kept talking, blurting out several terms and names that Superman didn't know, even though he knew Japanese relatively well. She was clearly VERY energetic, and liked this shop a little too much.

"Okay, okay. I get your point. Is there anything I can do to make up for this?" Superman inquired, willing to make up for his apparent wrongdoing.

"Well... You could get me that game up on the top shelf. I cannot reach it on my own," she replied. "It won't entirely undo the damage you have caused, but it might help."

"Sure." It was well within Superman's capabilities to help a child reach the top shelf. However, as he was bringing the item down, he noticed that it was not meant for kids.

"This game is illegal for minors!"

"I am not a child! I am a legal 18 year old girl!"

"I am sorry to say this, but your physique shows that you lie." The girl actually looked like she believed what she said. "Or what, have you been trapped in the body of a 12-year old?"

"I am a 3rd year student of Ryou High, AND in my own body!" She was clearly VERY irritated by now.

Superman knew there only was one possible reply to this statement:

"ID, please."

After she handed them over, she asked: "So, what have you learned?"

"So your name is Konata Izumi, you are 18 years old, 142 cm high." Superman took a quick glance at the girl, apparently named Konata. "And you are an avid collector, a good runner and have been struck on your head from above, most likely by a human of normal physical strength."

* Ø * Ø *

Konata was awestruck. This person, this _"thing",_ had been able to tell several parts of her personality AND that she had been hit by Kuroi-sensei during class. She had to know how.

"How were you able to tell?"

"You have 2 of all the models in your bag," he calmly stated. "Your leg muscles are lean and your head is still swollen, yet you haven't been bleeding."

"But how did you know I didn't hit my head against something?"

"There is no other scrapes on your body. You could have struck your head against a hanging object, but since the bump has the same size as one made by human hands, the chances were simply too low for that to have happened."

"Okay..." Konata gave in. This guy was good. "So, you know who I am, so now it's my turn to ask. Who are you?"

"I am Superman, protector of truth, justice and the American way!" Superman" proclaimed. He actually seemed a little proud as he said it.

"Okay, so that is who you cosplay as. Now I know why I couldn't recognize the character. He's American." Konata hadn't heard of him, a fact she found suspicious. "Who are you really?"

"No, I really am Superman." Superman seemed surprised at her confusion. _Does he really believe what he said?_ "How else would I have been able to save you?"

"I too saved one of my friends once. That doesn't make me superhuman."

"I made a huge hole in the wall. How could I have done that?"

"You have just worked out alot."

"I knew you were being stalked from outside the shop."

"You saw the stalker walk in and knew he was a lolicon, and you came flying to stop him."

Superman was tired of this and utilized his heat vision, slightly singing the floor.

Konata was, once more, awestruck.

"That's it! I hereby declare you Superman, protector of the weak, suppressor of the evil and user of frikken EYEBEAMS!" She excitedly shouted, not bothering to hide that the last part was the most epic one.

"It is good that you finally understand." Superman sighed. _Was that a sigh of relief?_

"Don't worry; I forgive you for breaking the wall. My heart is as wide as the ocean." Konata happily said. Superman generally seemed a little surprised by her behaviour.

_Oh well, that is how mundanes usually react_

* Ø * Ø *

Superman suddenly realised that he had forgotten something, distracted as he was by the blue-haired child. He quickly looked towards the opposite wall, but it was too late. The pedophile (which Superman was certain he was, considering the girl in question) had gotten away. Superman was not keen on letting such a despicable criminal go; after all he didn't have that many clues on Luthor's actions anyway. However, this beast had one huge advantage. Home ground. Superman had no knowledge of how the cityscape was formed, nor where such people lived. Quite a predicament.

In other words, he needed a base of operations.

"Say, what's up? You were thinking pretty hard right now." Konata asked.

This broke Superman out of his train of thought, and, as he looked at the small female, gave him an idea. It probably wouldn't work, but it was worth a shot.

"Do you know any place I could use as a temporary base? I have to stop that pedophile." he asked her. Upon hearing that, Konata began to think.

"Well... You could try using the school... But that wouldn't... Or perhaps you could... No, that wouldn't work either..." She mumbled in a low tone as she tried to figure out what he should do. Suddenly, an idea struck her. "Oh yeah! You could just use my house. My father won't be home till late, and even when he comes I'm sure he won't mind. Yuu-chan is staying out as well. We have an extra room, and food enough. While it is a little off the center of the city, you should still be able to make it around fast enough."

"No. It is too much of me to ask of you. I cannot trouble civilians with these things." Superman said, meaning every single word.

"Don't think about it," Konata casually replied. "Besides, it is not every day you get to help a hero."

"But first, I have to pay." Konata then proclaimed. But as she walked up to the cashier, she noticed that it was left empty for some reason.

"Hmm, I wonder why no one is here... Oh well, gotta buy these another day then." She shrugged and gave Superman the items. "Let's head towards my home, we might need some time to settle you in. Just put the game back, I'll have to get it later."

"Well, if you show me the way, I could fly us over there." Superman offered as he followed orders.

"Wow, you can actually fly? I thought you were only speaking figuratively when you said you came here flying." Konata happily exclaimed, waving her arms up and down in an attempt to waste the abundant amounts of energy those joyful news brought. "I knew this would be an awesome day!"

After that, they flew towards the Izumi residence.

And watching them blast off was the Anime Tenchou, Meito Anizawa. Despite just having received the megaton punch of his life he felt no pain. He didn't even think about the fact that he had, once again, failed to make the Legendary Girl A buy something. This was more important.

_Him? What is he doing over here?, _Anizawa thought to himself, _Could it be that? Of course... That has to be the reason... I mustn't let his plans unfold!_


	2. The Native's Home

**Chapter 2 - The Natives Home**

When Konata landed at her home, she was mind blown. Flying was fun, no doubt about it. The wind flowing through her hair, the sensation of being lifted from the ground and the awesome view one had from above. It even took her a few seconds to give the directions to Superman, she was that flabbergasted! Not that she chose the fastest road... There was no need to finish the trip quickly.

However, despite her wishes, it did not last forever. She reached her home, helped Superman inside and even managed to stop him from wrecking one of her figures. When things finally settled down, Konata remembered one tiny, little complication in her plan. Kagami, the resident fire-spewing tsundere of the Hiiragi household, was coming over, and Konata had a feeling she wouldn't applaud Konata dragging home strangers who wore their undergarments on the outside. Tsukasa wouldn't be a problem, and Miyuki would be too kind to complain. But how to appease Kagami-sama, that was the real problem. Oh well, Konata knew she would just have to improvise her way through it. That always worked.

* Ø * Ø *

Superman was a bit freaked out by this girl. First of all, she invited him, pretty much without thinking about it, to stay at her home for an indefinite time. Second, while he was expecting a slightly changed flight path (people often try to extend time spent above ground level), the excuses she used were TERRIBLE! "Whoops, I accidentally chose my workplace. I spend so much time there it pretty much is my second home." "Oh, that was my school? Looks like I thought we were somewhere we weren't. Must be all the homework getting to my brain." She could at least have tried to make some plausible lies. Third, when they finally got to her home, and got through the impossible ordeal that was not-knocking-stuff-down, she actually spent about a minute inside her own thoughts before coming back to reality.

"Well... There was one thing I forgot to tell you." Konata finally broke the silence. To Superman's surprise, she actually looked a little embarrassed. "I actually invited some friends over for a study session... And I don't think they will ignore that I have taken a stranger, with the ability to fry a lizard from 20 meters away, home. They don't appreciate such awesome skills for some reason." _So that was what she was thinking about._

"There is still time for me to leave, if it is too much trouble." Superman said, still uncomfortable with staying at a civilian's house.

"NO!" Konata swiftly moved her hand to prevent any attempts at escaping from the American hero. "This is a golden opportunity to learn the ways of the hero! I will never get a chance like this again. I will not let it pass."

Suddenly, it knocked at the door, and Konata dashed to the entrance, her sudden burst of speed baffling the man of tomorrow. The girl was fast, especially considering the length of her legs. Naturally, she was far from Flash's levels, but still impressive.

* Ø * Ø *

When Konata opened the door, Kagami wondered what had happened to her. Sure, Konata wasn't the most orderly girl around, but her hair couldn't have gotten THAT messed up on the way home. It looked like she had been through a hurricane! But Kagami knew there wasn't really a point in asking since Konata would never give a straight answer.

However, it seemed like Tsukasa didn't share the same opinion as her next words clearly showed: "Eh, Kona-chan, what happened to your hair?"

"Actually, I met a real hero inside Anim*te, and he flew me back here!" Konata said, using her usual enthusiasm. "The wind must've ravaged it during the trip. I didn't notice."

**…**

…

…

"I don't even know what to comment," Kagami finally said, breaking the awkward silence. "Let's just go inside and get started on that homework. You know, if you only used one tenth of that energy on studying, you would have grades like Miyuki."

"The thing is, he is still here. He asked if he could use my house as a base, and there was no way I could refuse someone with eyebeams." Konata explained.

"SAY WHAT! You invited a total stranger inside your house!" Kagami practically shouted, even Konata usually showed more common sense than this. "Do you realise what he could be doing right now!"

"I apologize, Kagami-san, but what did you get so heated up about?"

Miyuki had just arrived at the Izumi household.

* Ø * Ø *

Superman listened in on the argument happening outside. One of the new girls, whose name apparently was Kagami, seemed to have common sense, unlike her blue-haired friend. Superman, however, hardly dared to move. One wrong movement and something would fall and break. Superman had troubled the Izumi household enough already, he didn't want to break some sort of limited edition figurine too.

Three new girls had arrived so far. It was going to get pretty cramped inside the small room. The new arrival managed to calm Kagami down somewhat but she didn't sound happy as she was coming in. _This could lead to trouble_.

"Explain why you are here!" Kagami practically shouted

"I have a criminal to catch here in the area; Izumi was kind enough to lend me her house." Superman replied.

"What kind of criminal requires this kind of action?"

"I need to catch a pedophile, and I needed some sort of home base. Izumi couldn't come up with another place, so she kindly offered me the chance to use her house."

Kagami sighed. No matter how much she tried, she could not find a reason to distrust this guy. Besides the fact that he was a total stranger, of course. He also had a certain... aura of trustfulness about him or something. Besides, she had just gotten an idea which made a mischievous smile grow on her face. Konata gulped.

"Fine, you can stay... IF you help us make sure Konata finishes her homework herself. There is no way she would say no to a hero"

"That is okay with me."

Miyuki's only reaction was a small giggle, and Tsukasa kept looking confusedly between Superman and her sister.

"By the way, I am Hiiragi Kagami, this is my sister Tsukasa and this is Miyuki." Kagami said since she felt that some introductions were in order.

"I am Superman, pleased to meet you."

Konata was shocked. Kagami had not only accepted the Superman's stay, but she had also turned it against Konata herself! This wasn't part of the plan, something had to be done.

And suddenly, as if summoned by Konata's wishes, a knock was heard.


	3. The Cast Assembled

**Chapter 3 - The Cast Assembled**

"I'll get it" Konata wasn't going to let this chance slip by her.

Beyond the door stood, to Konata's surprise, Yutaka and her friends Minami, Patricia and Hiyori.

"Yuu-chan, I thought you were going to stay at Minami's today."

"Yeah, but her mother is sick, so it wasn't a good idea to visit with so many people."

Minami gave a small confirmation nod.

"What are you waiting out here for, come in, come in!" Konata excitedly called; after all, she might be able to work this out to her advantage. "The five of us were just about to start on our homework, you came just in time."

"Five? I can only think of you, Takara and the Hiiragis, who's the fifth?" Yutaka inquired.

"Ah, I met a hero when I was shopping, but he needed somewhere to stay so I offered him our house." As usual, Konata was proud of her actions, no matter how stupid other people thought they were.

"A REAL HERO!" Hiyori and Patricia saw no reason not to intervene in a conversation between a girl and her cousin.

"Yes, a real hero. He flew through a wall when I first saw him, and he shoots EYEBEAMS!"

The duo both released impressed"wows" upon hearing this.

"So, what's his name?" Hiyori asked the unavoidable question.

"He said his name was Superman, protector of truth, justice and the American way!" Konata proudly proclaimed.

Patricia gasped, Hiyori was deep in thought and Yutaka asked confused: "Super-market man?"

"**No, no, no!** Not super as in supermarket, super as in **super special awesome!**" Patricia quickly corrected her completely with a wagging finger. "Superman is the most iconic of the Western superheroes; his countless deeds are spoken of in legends! His powers include flight, super strength, invulnerability, heat vision and the ability to fly in space."

Now it was Konata's turn to be awestruck. While it was only natural that any hero calling himself the "protector of the American way" wouldn't be a small fry, she didn't expect him to be the ultimate American hero.

"We have no time to waste, we must get inside! **Hurry up!**" Patricia had already begun to move indoors, leaving the others behind. "He might not be Arch*r, but we need to see him anyway. We cannot give up on this chance, Hiyori-chan!"

Hiyori jumped at Patricia's eagerness, and went inside as well. Minami and Yutaka simply exchanged confused looks. They too followed once Konata had ventured inside.

* Ø * Ø *

"The peace will be over soon..." Superman sighed.

"How do you know that?" was Kagami's response.

Superman was about to answer, but before he could react, a blonde, energetic, well-endowed girl busted through the door, surprising Kagami and Miyuki while apparently scaring Tsukasa.

"**Hi everyone! Has Brainiac downloaded himself to this computer?**" She asked in perfect English while pointing at Konata's pc. "**Just kidding, I heard the story from Konata-senpai. So, what agenda is it you have here, Superman?**"

Tsukasa was just staring empty-eyed at the girl, and Kagami seemed a bit perplexed, even though she had regained her posture. It seemed as if her knowledge of English wasn't as well-developed as the newcomer's. Miyuki just smiled as usual.

"**I saw a pedophile sneak up on Ms. Izumi. I tried to catch him but he managed to get away.**" Superman said. "**As you have heard, I am using this place as a temporary base while I try to get him.**"

"**Oh, you heard what I said, as expected of the man of tomorrow.**"

"**I am sorry, but could you please speak Japanese?**" Miyuki interrupted them. "**Tsukasa-san seems to have some trouble keeping up**"

The pair now both looked at Tsukasa, who had turned a little red. Being the center of attention had never suited her.

"Well, well, well. That was quite a display of abilities you gave us there, Patty-chan." Konata had entered the room, and tried to sound like a typical Bond villain, even though she didn't pay attention to that one time Dr. N* was shown. "However, with the presence of the hero Superman here, wouldn't you think a demonstration of his abilities would be in order?"

"I wouldn't mind seeing a hero's powers, but there is something else that my drawings could benefit more from." Hiyori said, saying the last part quietly while throwing a quick glance at Yutaka and Minami who had just entered alongside her and Konata.

"It is decided then. Superman, show us the power of the man of steel!" Patricia said excitedly, punching her fist into the air as she did so.

"Wait a second! Konata, you are supposed to be finishing your homework, not challenging a guest to some sort of duel." Kagami said, only to regret her words once she saw a grin spread on Konata's face.

"Of course! We should have a duel! A regular Japanese versus the best America has to offer." Konata exclaimed. "But if we just had an all out fight, we wouldn't stand a chance..."

"Perhaps a contest instead of a duel, less danger that way." Hiyori said, with Patricia nodding behind her. "What kind of contest should it be? D*nce D*nce Rev*lution? Moe Dr*ll?"

"Kona-chan, with your speed it should be a race." Tsukasa said, happy that she could contribute something to the conversation.

"Not a bad idea, Hiiragi-chan. Minami-chan, perhaps you could join in as well? You are about as fast as Senpai after all." Patricia commented.

"No, I am not that fa-"

"Come on, it will be fun!" Konata broke in, interrupting Minami. "We will finally see who's the ultimate racing champion!"

"Don't I get a say in this?" Superman asked, not liking being treated like an object which was how he felt now.

This was answered by the simple and commonly used phrase 'no'.

"Yutaka-chan, wouldn't you like to see Minami-chan outrun the American superhuman?" Konata then asked her cousin.

"Well, I wouldn't mind seeing Minami-chan competing against a real hero..." she answered.

"Hang on a second; we don't even know if he is the real Superman!" Kagami tried to calm them down once more.

However, it was clear that she had failed.

"This is definitely the real man of steel! An American wouldn't misidentify this guy!"

"He fired EYEBEAMS! I don't care whether he is real or not!"

"I cannot draw him. The only thing I wouldn't be able to draw would be the pinnacle of American culture... Too many differences in the art style."

"He looks real enough."

"..."

"He does have a striking resemblance to the character generally depicted as the last son of Krypton."

"Eh? He isn't the real Superman!"

Kagami sighed. "It was just an idea... I too think he is real..." She had also gained a slight blush from the sudden turn things took.

"Well, now that all the boring stuff is out of the way, let's get it on!" Konata exclaimed.

"Wait a second. I still haven't agreed to this. You cannot force me to duel innocent schoolgirls." Superman complained.

"Not even for little Yutaka-chan's sake?" Konata said, while grabbing Yutaka and pulling her in front of Superman.

"Eto... Mister Superman, would you please go along with Oneechan's idea? It would really make me happy!" she said, while giving Superman a look that would make Cherry look like a rabid Rottweiler in comparison.

"Besides, Konata is far from innocent, if you look at her D-drive..." Hiyori commented silently.

Not being able to, or rather deciding not to resist the little girl's puppy eyes, Superman gave in.  
"Okay, I guess I can try racing against you."

"I apologise for asking this, but where do you plan to race?" Miyuki inquired. "The urban area around here isn't exactly built for high speed running, and this house is too small to allow anyone to pick up speed."

"Hmm, Miyuki speaks the truth as usual..." Konata admitted. As usual, she hadn't thought things through. "I think the park is big enough, let's go over there!"

"It's settled then. **Let's go!"** exclaimed an excited Patricia. She and Konata were already halfway out of the house and singing something about touching the untouchable and breaking the unbreakable when the other girls were just about to stand up.

"There is no stopping them once they really get going. There wasn't anything you could have done," Miyuki said to Superman. "Now, shall we be on our way?"

"Could I get their names on the way there?" Superman asked her in return.

"Of course you can. The quiet girl here is Iwasaki Minami and this here is..."

It was after a short walk that they reached the darkened area that was to be the battlefield.

* * *

AN: In case people are confused, let me explain Yutaka's confusion regarding Superman's name. The japanese word for Super-market is "Supa" which is also how they would pronounce the "Super" part of Superman. This was once used for a similar joke in Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, so I guess you could count it as an obscure homage. C:


	4. Battle Amongst the Trees

**Chapter 4 - Battle Amongst the Trees**

When Superman and the rest of the girls reached the park, they found Konata and Patricia in a heated argument about who would win in a game of wits, L*ght or Lel*uch.

"I say, Lel*uch would win; he managed to keep his face and name hidden while still representing all the freedom fighters. There is a reason why they call him Lel*uch of the rebellion, you know."

"But K*ra managed to keep the entire world in awe of his godlike abilities, while practically leading the very unit that was used to hunt him down. He managed to change the world without even being there, something L*louch never accomplished."

"Lel*uch actually succeeded in his goals, unlike K*ra."

"That is only because he was more of an anti-hero while L*ght was a villain protagonist."

"I am sure that this is a very interesting debate, but shouldn't we do what we actually came here for?" Kagami suddenly interrupted them.

"Meh, you are no fun, Kagamin," Konata said. "However, now that we all are here, we have to plan the route. It wouldn't be fair to make it simply from point A to B, as we know the area better than Superman."

"Wouldn't the big oak over there make a good finish line? Perhaps we could make some sort of route around it." Tsukasa suggested.

"That is a good idea, Tsukasa-chan." Patricia gave the younger twin a thumbs up.

"We also need a referee, in case it becomes a tie." Hiyori added.

"I nominate Yutaka-chan!" both Konata and Minami said immediately, surprising the poor folk around them.

"You don't have any problems with her as a referee, right?" Konata asked Superman, as his approval was required.

"It is fine, I trust this young lady." Superman answered. Yutaka seemed to grow a little upon hearing that.

"I hope I won't betray your trust." she said, giving a light bow doing so.

"So, the plan is as follows. The three of you follow a route starting at the big oak, going left at the first opportunity. Then you just follow the road until you turn left again and end up back here where Yutaka will testify who came first. If we find out that she favoured someone, we will hang her upside down for two hours as punishment." Patricia concluded, ignoring Yutaka's and Minami's complaints about the last comment.

Whether they were eager to start, finish, or just get through the route, the three competitors all lined up ready to begin when the salmon-haired girl gave the order.

"Ready, set, go!"

* Ø * Ø *

Konata dashed off as soon as she heard the call. She wouldn't lose this contest, not even for a free limited edition Haruhi Suzumiya figurine.

_I can do this, just do as usual and button mash myself to victory._

However, as Konata thought this, she noted that Superman and Minami were actually keeping up with her. Her magnificent technique wasn't good enough! This was going to be tougher than she was used to. But then again, it wouldn't be fun if it wasn't.

* Ø * Ø *

Minami wasn't as excited as Konata, but she did what she could anyways. Her speed was one of the few things she was proud of, the one area where she could beat Miyuki. Besides, Yutaka wanted to see how she fared. Minami couldn't bring herself to do anything less than her best following such a request.

_I seem to be able to keep up with them. However, this won't be finished before the final stretch. I have to save my energy till then._

While maintaining her current speed, she prepared herself to turn. Unlike on a track, this turn was sharp and was bound to take some speed off. Nothing she wouldn't be able to regain, though.

* Ø * Ø *

Superman, in contrast to Konata's ecstasy and Minami's dedication, had a more "let the children play" thought to it. The girls might be grown up by age, but some were certainly less mature than others. But he went along with their, or rather her, schemes partly to repay the favour of letting him stay there, and partly to entertain them. The best payment for his work was the smiles of the innocent, and if doing things like this would create them, then it was worth it.

_It has been a while since the last time I was around kids like this. It really is a nice break from the hectic business of crime fighting. Not that Luthor or that pedophile is getting away._

Following the turn, he saw the two girls slowly gain ground in front of him. Not that he had any hard feelings. He had no desire to win this contest, participating was enough.

* Ø * Ø *

Konata was close to celebrating as she saw the American icon slowly losing speed. Now she only had to keep it up and outrun the green-haired menace. She also had to make sure she didn't tire before the end, and that she didn't stumble on any sticks along the way. In their haste to get started they hadn't cleaned the road ahead, so anything was possible.

_Hah, they are no match for the mighty"Blue Storm" Izumi. In time, even the"Southern Hawk" will fall._

With this cheerful thought in mind, she raced on, determined to leave everything and everyone in her dust.

* Ø * Ø *

_I have passed Superman, now I only have Izumi-senpai left._

Minami thought this as she ran ahead. The road ahead had some slight twists and turns, but nothing too major. This was simply the long run before the end sprint. Yutaka's cousin was fast, however. Overtaking her was not something you just did. Minami knew that she had to work hard.

However, while thinking these thoughts she saw the third racer slowly make it past her. Superman was not out of the battle yet.

* Ø * Ø *

Konata was also horrified by the sight of the hero regaining his speed.

_Damn it, why is it that heroes always makes so powerful comebacks? If this keeps up I have no chance of defeating him._

Nonetheless, it would be idiotic of her to pick up speed right now. The last turn was coming up and following that the last few meters. That was when she would strike. That was when they would fall.

_They won't know what hit them; the Adorable Hurricane will claim her rightful spot._

* Ø * Ø *

Turning around the corner, Minami saw Yutaka, Patricia and the others standing by the oak. It didn't matter where Izumi and Superman were right now; she just needed to go as fast as possible.

_This stretch will decide the victor. It will end soon. I will go all out now._

Despite her original hesitation when presented with the idea, she actually enjoyed running together with Izumi-Senpai and Superman. She would have no regrets losing to either of them.

* Ø * Ø *

_Faster! Faster! Faster! !_

That was all Konata thought at the moment. Minami-chan had surprised her. She thought Yutaka had exaggerated her speed, but that could hardly be further from the truth. Superman was a worthy opponent as well.

_A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B A B!_

The ultimate forbidden secret technique of the green-eyed typhoon was about to show its true strength. Konata would win this, she was certain.

* Ø * Ø *

The girls could only stare in awe at the show approaching. They all knew that the contestants were fast, but they were still surprised by how fast. Yutaka were momentarily stunned, but quickly regained her posture as they closed in on the finish line Patricia had hastily made (despite agreeing on whoever touched the oak first won). Yutaka would not disappoint them. Definitely not.

* Ø * Ø *

Hiyori made the mistake of blinking and therefore missed the climatic ending. Tsukasa blinked several times afterwards, just to make sure she had seen correctly. Kagami and Miyuki both wore light smiles on their faces and Patricia actually looked a little worried.

"Eto... I don't really know how to say this, but... You two came in at exactly the same time." Yutaka said reluctantly to the female runners. "It seems as if you are equally fast."

"What! This cannot be! The Ferocious Kona-sama cannot have been beaten like this!" An excited Konata exclaimed. "Though technically, I wasn't beaten..."

"So it seems..." was all that Minami said.

"Congratulations, you have successfully beaten the man of tomorrow." Superman said, trying to be friendly. "So, how did it feel? Did I match your expectations?"

"**No, you didn't!" **Patricia suddenly broke in."You didn't go all out, did you?"

"Now that she mentions it... It did seem a little too easy." Konata commented. "And you haven't even broken a sweat. I don't know whether or not you actually can sweat, but I definitely think something is wrong here."

"But, it was still fun right?" Yutaka said, in an attempt to lift the mood. "You all looked really cool out there."

"Yeah, but we should get back before it gets too dark." Kagami said. "And you still need to finish your homework. You wouldn't break your promise in front of a hero, now would you?"

"I never promised to do that, it was something you decided behind my back! I refuse to bend to your despotic ways!" Konata responded.

"I am surprised you even have that word in your vocabulary." was Kagami's response to that. "But I guess you don't want any help finishing it before the deadline then."

"NO! I need you! Don't leave me to die, Kagamin!" Konata pleaded.

"Are they always like this?" Superman asked Tsukasa.

"Yup, it is how you can see that they are friends." she answered.

That being said, people were preparing to get going. Patricia, however, decided that they shouldn't leave right there.

"**Hold it!**" Patricia slammed an imaginary desk"If you are going to catch that pedophile, you are going to need some help, and while Konata-Senpai is very versed in the local culture, you are going to need more than that."

"What do you mean?" Superman was once more perplexed by these girls. He wouldn't be that surprised if one of them were actually related to some megalomaniac villain.

"What she means is that while I know the common pervert's thoughts, you are going to need other skills in order to win. As an example, Patricia here knows how to translate the otaku language into American." Konata walked over to the confused hero. "Isn't that right, Patty-chan?"

"100% correct, the winner is Senpai! Kinda like how the Superhero groups need each other's abilities to win." Patricia confirmed

"So... You want me to drag even more people into this?"

"Yup."

"But you haven't even asked him whether or not we are even able to help! You might be selling the skin before you have caught the bear!" Kagami interrupted, as usual the voice of reason.

"Do you have any plans for tomorrow, Hiiragi-san?"

"No..."

"Then come along and help us!"

The voice of reason was drowned out by the war cries of fangirls.

"Tsukasa-chan, you are free as well, right?" Konata asked the younger twin.

"Yeah, my schedule is pretty much like oneechan's."

"Anyone else with a schedule like Kagami-sama's?"

"Well, I don't have anything to do, what about you, Minami-chan?" Yutaka answered.

"I don't have any plans either..." was her only reply.

"If Yutaka-chan, Minami-chan and Patty-chan all are coming, I might as well." Hiyori said. "It would be a waste not to take advantage of the lack of homework we got."

"I am free tomorrow as well." Miyuki said, ending the conversation.

"Eh, Yuki-chan, didn't you say that you had a dentist appointment tomorrow?" Tsukasa asked her confusedly.

"I did, but I am sure it can be cance-.. I mean moved if it means I can help my friends."she answered, seeming a bit happier afterwards.

"There isn't really anything I can do to stop you, is there?" Superman tentatively asked, despite knowing the answer already.

"No."

"We are all in agreement, then. Let us meet at senpai's place twelve-hundred tomorrow." Patricia concluded.

After a few seconds of silence, Hiyori decided to speak.

"Well, it has been fun, but I think I should get going. I have a few things I need to work on."

"It's for Comiket, right?" Konata asked knowingly.

"It is."

"I also better go home and check up on my mother." Minami admitted. "I have to make sure that my father can get a little rest as well."

"Okay, goodbye Minami-chan!" Yutaka responded.

"Well then. With both Hiyorin and Minami-chan gone I might take my leave as well." Patricia said. "**See you tomorrow, Superman!**"

"We should too head home now. I think Superman's presence here disrupts Konata's concentration so she cannot work on the homework." Miyuki followed up. "Besides, I have to move my appointment tomorrow. "

"Goodbye, Yuki-chan!" Tsukasa answered. "Good luck with the dentist!"

"See you tomorrow, Miyuki." Kagami said. "If she is right, we might go home as well."

"Farewell Kagami, Tsukasa. Remember to meet at my place tomorrow at 12 o'clock." Konata replied.

"You don't have to remind us; Patricia decided that a few seconds ago!"

"Goodbye Kona-chan! Goodbye Mr. Superman!"

After that, Konata, Yutaka and Superman decided to go home... Not knowing that they weren't the first to return to the Izumi residence.


	5. Guardian Wolf

**Chapter 5 - Guardian wolf**

Soujirou Izumi was a hardworking man. When he wasn't busy earning money, he was busy looking after the two girls on his care. Granted, they weren't that young and helpless any longer, and Konata had always been good at taking care of herself and the house, but he still felt it as his duty to make sure they were safe and sound.

Which was the reason why he was more than a little worried when he got home early and found the house empty. He had tried calling them on their cell phones, but to no avail. He had tried searching the house for any notes that said were they had gone, but found nothing. He tried to reason with himself that nothing was wrong... But few parents ever succeed that particular feat.

However, his worries were instantly dispelled when he heard the happy voices of his dear kids (despite not having fathered Yutaka, he still viewed her as a daughter), and, in the ecstatic craze he had now gotten into, he sprung forth towards the door ready to welcome them home. Then he heard a new voice... A male one.

* Ø * Ø *

When Konata arrived at her home alongside Yutaka and Superman, she noted that the door wasn't locked.

"It really stank... It seems as if Otousan has gotten home before us."

"Oneechan, what is for dinner tonight? Can we have your chicken curry? Please?" Yutaka asked her cousin.

"I don't think I have ever tried that dish before." Superman said, not wanting to cause further trouble by mentioning that he was a vegetarian.

"Really? Oneechan, you have to make it then. He cannot leave this country without tasting it!"

"Okay, okay I get it. I just hope we have all the ingredients." Konata answered.

"Yay!"

As she entered her home, Konata instantly felt as if something was off. It was too quiet. Her dad would usually have tackle hugged her, saying things like:"I am so happy you are ok!" when she had left without telling him. However, there was nothing to be heard except the cicada's sonata.

"Is he writing on something new already?" she murmured silently. "Oh well. To my room! I have something I need to show you, Superman."

But no matter how much she tried, Konata couldn't shake the feeling off of being watched.

* Ø * Ø *

Soujirou didn't like following his daughter around like this, but he had no choice. She had brought a boy home, and not just any boy, but an American! Now his lifelong dreams of getting a nice, moe daughter-in-law were shattered forever. He was sure that guy had some vile plans. What wouldn't he do to the poor, defenseless Konata when they are alone? Soujirou had to watch them, just in case.

_Just what are you planning to do? Lock the door once you get inside and then force feed them American sitcoms?_

He realised that it didn't really matter if the door was locked or not, he wouldn't be able to enter without Konata noticing anyway. But even if the father's plans were momentarily stopped, it wasn't enough to break him. He wouldn't let the first little obstacle in his way put a stop to his schemes.

As Soujirou heard his daughters' voices through the door, he felt little relief. They might not be tortured to death, but mind-control isn't much better from his point of view. It was so much better when Yutaka brought an American girl over here, she didn't do things like this.

But the new guy had to go... Soujirou realised this. There was only room for one man in the Izumi household!

_All I need is to figure out how to make him go away..._ That_ plan might work..._

* Ø * Ø *

Superman was astonished.

"What is this!" he cried out. "Is this supposed to be America? In what way does it resemble the American dream?"

"Heh, I figured this was how you would react, but I wouldn't want to pass this chance up." was Konata's response.

"You certainly got a reaction... Is this how Japan perceives all countries?"

"Nah, it's just this show. Don't worry; we don't hate you for giving us Godzilla."

"Huh?"

"I will be back soon, I just need to go to the bathroom" Yutaka said, interrupting the"interesting" conversation.

However, as she went through the hallway, something stopped her legs. A scream was heard as the frail girl tumbled to the ground.

* Ø * Ø *

"Yutaka, are you alright" Konata had stormed to the scene. No one would hurt her precious little cousin and get away with it.

"I am okay, I just tripped," Yutaka reassured her. "Although it did feel like something made me fall..."

"It was probably this tripwire." Superman said.

And, like he said, a fishing line was stretched across the room about a foot above the ground. This was no accident.

"But who would have done this? Yutaka-chan, you don't have any enemies do you?" Konata asked, not really believing that anyone would harm someone as innocent as her. "You haven't gotten a grade higher than those of an insane schoolmate, right?"

"I-I-I don't know... I don't think I have done anything."

"No rejected love letters? No delinquents accidentally pushed? Nothing at all?"

"N-No... I haven't done anything like that."

"Hmm... A MYSTERY!" Konata was excited; she practically shouted the last part. "Just a second, I need to get my detective gear ready."

Having said that, Konata ran inside her room, almost knocking over Superman in the process. She quickly searched her room and found the necessary equipment.

* Ø * Ø *

When Konata emerged once more from her den, she was wearing a beret and a grey cloak. In her hand she held a small toy magnifying glass.

"Master Detective Konata Izumi is ready for action! No crime survives her scrutiny; no unjust deed dodges her hammer of righteousness! Now, let us examine the crime scene and figure out who wants to kill Yutaka." she announced proudly.

"K-Kill me!"

"Naturally! When the Master Detective arrives, there will always be a murder. It's part of the rules."

"I am afraid that real life doesn't follow those rules." Superman said. He was, however, slightly puzzled at who did this. Kobayakawa didn't seem like the sort that would have many enemies and whoever did this had to get into the house without them noticing it. There had to be something to this. "Besides, I don't thi-"

"I WOULD NEVER KILL YU-CHAN!" someone shouted. Suddenly, a blue haired man stood in the hallway. His fists were clenched and he had a fierce look in his eyes.

"It's all your fault!" he shouted, while pointing at Superman. Suddenly, his expression changed to a more _I-just-made-a-big-mistake_ kind of face. "Busted."

After these random outbursts, the man dashed off. He ran back inside the room which he came from, only to shout profanities shortly afterwards.

When Superman and the others followed, they found him, lying in the doorway, with a large basin on top of him.

"Ow..."

"Oh, fa-ather," Konata said, while slowly approaching the fallen figure in front of her. "What exactly did you mean a few seconds ago? Could it be that my own, dear father, the one who raised me and taught me the glory of Astr*boy, was the very same villain who attacked little, defenseless Yu-chan?"

The man was in shock, involuntarily shaking and mumbling things like:"You're wrong... I haven't done anything... Yaz* did it..." To be blunt, Superman found him pathetic. It wasn't a feeling Superman usually felt, but that man's predicament was simply so pitiable. It almost made him forget that he made an already weakly girl trip, for reasons unexplained.

"And here I thought that you really loved us... Were those words all lies!" Konata was tearing up.

The man, who was apparently her father (that didn't really surprise Superman, blue hair wasn't common, even in Japan), was breaking apart seeing this. He could make Niagara Falls look like a dripping tap. Superman, however, noticed that Konata was simply acting.

"Daddy, I hate you!"

"No! Please listen to me! Hear my tear-soaked story of woe, loss and betrayal." He rose from the floor, and took a deep breath in preparation for the speech that was to come.

"You really don't need to do thi-" Yutaka tried to say, but she was interrupted by Konata.

"No, Yutaka-chan! You must not stop the motive rant. It is the most vital part of any mystery!"

"It all started when I returned this afternoon, and saw to my horror that neither of you were home. Naturally, I was worried sick. I tried to contact you, but to no avail. I waited. Waited. Waited FOREVER!" He was waving his hands in quite an overdramatic matter by now, trying to illustrate his feelings.

"Finally, I heard you return. I could practically see your happy, smiling faces, full of love, in front of me. But then I heard _him_." He threw a nasty glare in Superman's direction. "I know that there is something wrong with that guy! I know it!"

"Relax, father. Superman here just needed a place to stay. I couldn't just leave him in the foreign streets of Japan, now could I? You know how confusing our streets can be."

"Ms. Izumi here was kind enough to let me stay here for a while. I hope that I won't be too much trouble." Superman said.

"Hmm... Could that really be everything...? State your business in Japan, foreigner!" Mr. Izumi threw his index finger at Superman after the last line.

"My main business is to stop whatever schemes Lex Luthor has planned. However, once I got here, I saw a pedophile sneaking up on your daughter. There is no way I could let one of _them_ run amok anywhere, so I planned on staying here until I got the villain." Superman said

"So you saved my daughter... Is this true, Konata?" Konata's father asked his offspring, in a surprisingly serious tone, compared to how utterly dramatic he was before.

"Yup, it is. Granted, I didn't actually see the lolicon, but he did make a gigantic hole in the wall, and I don't see why he would have done that without a reason."

"That is exactly his plan! There wasn't any pervert there at all. It was a trick he employed so that he could get close to you and Yuu-chan," Mr. Izumi exclaimed. "It is a common method with a high success rate. Pretend that you are a hero to gain the trust of small girls"

"Father, are you speaking from personal experience here?"

"Of course not, Kanata stopped me long before I could actually try it."

"Besides, I know that he is a real hero. Supes, give him the same proof that you gave me." Konata requested.

"Supes? Never mind. I don't think it is a good idea, it would ruin the floor." Superman said. "A tree floor like this might even burst into flames."

"You have a point. Why didn't you think of that in Anim*te?"

"I had already broken the entire wall, that little spot wouldn't make any difference," Superman sighed. "Besides, they had a concrete floor; they are much more resistant to heat."

"Oh... That makes sense... I have an idea!" Konata excitedly exclaimed. "You could heat a cup of water! It is an epic idea!"

"You mean, this guy actually has the power to manipulate heat!" The blue-haired male asked surprised. "Why didn't you tell me right away that he had powers like that? Konata, I am ashamed of you!"

"You didn't give us a chance to explain, right, Yutaka-chan?"

Up until this point, Kobayakawa had done nothing but look distracted between the different actors. She had tried once to get a word in, but she simply lacked the force necessary to penetrate the almighty sphere that the discussion had created.

"No, you didn't... You didn't even greet us when we returned home. And you put traps out to chase a guest away." At this point, the man in question was looking quite worried. "In all honesty, Uncle, you have behaved like a horrible host this afternoon."

When she made the last statement, it looked as if a stake was being showed through his heart. He froze, slowly sank to the floor, his spirit shattered.

"I-I see..." The man rose in a slow, sluggish motion, only to suddenly lower his head to the floor, facing Superman. "I sincerely apologize!"

"It is okay, father. I forgive you. My heart is as wide as the Seto Naikai."

"I can forgive you as well. You just have to promise not put out traps for visitors ever again." Superman added.

"Of course, of course. Konata-chan just has to warn me about any boys, or _accidents_ might happen."

"Mr. Izumi, are you sure you wish to forget it so quickly?" Superman made a not-so-veiled threat. "Otherwise, I might return. Are you sure your house can survive that?"

"Eep! Please erase my former statement from the record." It had worked.

Konata, however, knew that the threat wasn't real. She had only known Superman for a few hours, but she was good with first impressions. Her father? Not so much.

"Eto, some introductions might be in order. Superman Supes, was it? I am Izumi Soujirou. Pleased to meet you."

"It is just Superman... Supes is a nickname I seem to get."

"Ok. I knew that name was weird, even for a hero. You are from America right? Let's go into Konata's room, there is something I need to show you." Soujirou had clearly lightened up.

"Father, I have already shown him that."

"Oh," Soujirou looked a little disappointed. "Well, I guess I have raised my daughter well, right?"

The rest of the day – and night – went with watching various anime and video games, along with pestering Superman in hopes of making him share a few tales from America.

However, they were not alone.

They were being watched from a lamppost across the street. A pair of green lights revealed the location of a pair of ultra-rare limited edition night vision goggles.

_Hmm, so even he has fallen. This is not a foe I can take lightly. Of course, I should have known that. Attacking here is too risky... It will have to wait till tomorrow._


	6. A Moment's Rest

**Chapter 6 - A Moment's Rest**

Superman awoke in an unfamiliar room, with an arm slapped across his chest and a leg smacked on his stomach. It took him a few seconds to recall what had happened the day before, and why he was sleeping in the same bed as a blue haired man.

"Hmm, it looks like you guys have had a rough night. You were gentle to my father, right?" Konata had sneaked into the room, and their current position was... compromising.

"No, nothing happened. I am a little disturbed you can even think that about your father."

"Don't worry; I know he is a restless sleeper. How many times have I not been awakened by getting a sleep-hug from him?"

"I didn't really plan on doing this, but had your father completely gotten his will, I would have been chained to a lamppost and a ferocious wolf, which had been fed nothing but cicadas for a month, would have been sacked on me in order to prevent me from doing ANYTHING to you girls. But, in the end, he had to settle with keeping an eye on the visitor himself. And lock all doors. And keep a baseball-bat in ready, just in case I managed to sneak out." Superman explained. "That reminds me, the door was locked, how did you get in here?"

"I have lived in this house my entire life; did you really think these old locks were enough to keep me out? Besides, I wanted to see what exactly my father had done... It seems as if he didn't manage to find any handcuffs, unfortunately."

"Unfortunately?"

"Yeah, it would have been fun to see him looking for the key afterwards... Oh well, no use crying over spilt milk. I am going to make some breakfast now, do you have anything you want to eat?"

Superman thought for a little while, he wanted to eat something nice of course, but he had no idea what they had besides rice and curry. In the end, he decided to go with what everybody had. Cereals.

"Ah, I am sorry. We don't have that," she said. "However, if you want something more Western, we do have toast and jam."

"Then I'll just take that"

It did take Superman some time to get used to the differences between America and Japan, and when he finally would have gotten used to it, he would have been finished with his work and return home. That was how it always went.

* Ø * Ø *

After hearing the word "breakfast", Soujirou began to squirm in bed. It was one of the many joys of having a grown-up daughter. Granted, she did cause him some worry sometimes, but it was far easier getting by now, compared to when she was just a baby. Now, she was able to do all sorts of things on her own. Such as cooking her father a lovely meal.

_But she usually isn't awake this time of day... And isn't there another voice in here?_

Suddenly, Soujirou's eyes jolted open. He remembered the events of yesterday, and realised that Superman, who turned out to be a far better guy than he seemed despite his lack of taste, had entered the house and was currently staying there. Seriously, that guy hadn't seen a single episode of G*ndam or Macr*ss. Soujirou knew that he couldn't impose his expectations on non-otaku (Yuki-neechan, Yutaka's mother, had in fact wowed to format his D-drive if he ever "educated" Yutaka), but a hero needed at least some knowledge of mechas. So Soujirou had to show Superman what a real robot could do!

Hearing Konata and Superman leave the room broke Soujirou out of his trance. It was time to dine. As he moved towards the kitchen, his stomach grumbled like a bear. Thinking about food made from his daughter's loving hand always made him hungry. Soon, the alluring scent of breakfast flowed from the kitchen and into the rest of the house. Yutaka had been awake for a while now, and was now helping her cousin with preparing the dishes.

_I am so proud of you girls. If only Kanata could see you now. I am sure she would be beaming with pride._

Soujirou felt the tears of happiness begin to form in his eyes. He could hardly contain his joy as he awaited the food that was to come.

* Ø * Ø *

Konata smirked as she heard her father mumbling in his usual way. He never realised just how easy he was to read. Konata always knew exactly when his father had gotten her Christmas presents; he had barely kept himself from revealing the hiding place during dinner. She had also figured most of her friends and coworkers out by this point, so meeting a new face was a delight and what a delight this particular face was. Superman was even more stereotypical than Miyuki, for Har*hi's sake. He even had a cape. Konata didn't know alot about Western superheroes, but she knew enough to realize that Superman fit the bill perfectly. He would probably dash to any cause if there were civilians involved.

_Now that I think about it... That was what has happened to me..._

As she delivered the food to the hungering masses, she asked:

"So, Superman. How many damsels in distress have you saved?"

"Besides you, you mean? More than I can count. They have a knack for getting into trouble, it seems. Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering. So... Is any of them special? Is there one of them you always look forward to saving?"

"No. Saving another human is never something that one can look forward to." was his reply.

_He didn't deny that one of them was special. Ohoho, this could be interesting._

"But saving the girl should increase your points... Perhaps you have done it so much that it just became a trivial matter for her," she said. "What kind of girl is she? Your actions should change depending on her personality."

"Enough about me. If we have to talk about my work, we should focus on the matter at hand," He said, probably a little annoyed at "Matchmaking Konata". "Where would a pedophile hide in this area?"

"Meh, can't that wait? We have until 12 o'clock before Patty-chan and the others arrive." Konata was, as usual, not enthusiastic about doing anything that was forced onto her. This might involve going out and visit her favourite stores, and it might be done alongside a hero, but that didn't mean she should be hurried! "If I don't get to play my relaxory games, I end up as a hollow shell of what I was before!"

Again, Yutaka had a little trouble keeping up with her cousin. She was by no means an airhead like Tsukasa, but when Konata got on a roll, there was nothing that could stop her. The fact that Superman was capable of following her even though he had practically no knowledge of Japanese popular culture was an impressive feat. Unfortunately, Yutaka was no Supergirl, so if she wanted to join the conversation any way, she had to change the subject. That, or somehow calm down Konata. She knew only one topic that would be capable of sidetracking the female otaku without fail, and she had only heard of it in legends.

However, it was her only hope.

"Mr. Superman, I have a question." she asked the man of steel.

"What is it, Ms. Kobayakawa?" As usual, Superman was willing to answer the many questions the Izumi household held. But he wasn't prepared for this.

"I just wondered... Which end of a chocolate coronet is the head? The thin end or the fat end?" Yutaka had just asked the timeless question. The one thing that Konata had dedicated her entire life (or rather, high school lessons, but that didn't matter) to investigate, yet never got any closer.

Naturally, the blunette was psyched to hear the last son of Krypton's answer.

"Which end of a what?" was not exactly what she had hoped for.

"You mean you don't know what it is!" Konata had risen from her seat and almost knocked down her plate in the process. "You have lived a sad and boring life if you haven't tasted a chocolate coronet."

"I am afraid that they don't have that one in the states, Ms. Izumi." The superhero calmly responded, and then he added: "I must admit, though. I am surprised that you have such hot opinions about food, considering that you were rather calm when your _beloved chicken curry _was praised yesterday."

"You're right; it isn't really that big of a deal. I have just always wanted to say such things, and finally got a chance," she assured him. "But really, you should try them."

"Oneechan, shouldn't you then try the carrot stew I was taught in home ED?" Yutaka asked her. "I think it was really delicious, but you keep on making excuses not to try. Uncle tried it, and he liked it."

"Well... Oh look at the time! I promised Sensei that I would log on today, and if I have to finish before we have to go I have to hurry. Thanks for the meal!" Konata quickly excused herself and dashed off to her room afterwards, leaving her companions baffled. She had only eaten about half of what she took onto her plate, and while Konata Izumi was no glutton, she wasn't one to waste food either.

_Carrot stew must really scare her_ was a thought that all who still sat at the table thought.

* Ø * Ø *

Time passed on without much happening, aside from an incident involving toothpaste, a teaspoon and Sgt. Froggy. About 10:50 Yutaka's phone began to ring.

"Who is it? Oh hi, Minami-chan! How are you? Oh... I see. That is too bad. Well, I hope they recover. Bye."

As Yutaka ended the call, both Konata and Superman could see the disappointment in her eyes.

"Minami-chan's father has fallen ill as well... She won't be coming." she said sadly.

"There, there. It isn't so bad. You don't need Minami-chan around to have fun, you know." Konata said.

Yutaka pouted. "I know that, Oneechan. You don't have to treat me like a kid all the time."

Before anyone else could act, Patricia busted into the room, carrying a large bag on her back.

"I am sorry we arrived so early. I just wanted to make sure everything was ready." she put the bag down, exhausted as if she had ran the entire way. Konata didn't doubt that she actually had.

_Wait a second, did she just say w-_

"Patty-chan, do we really need all these things? You have brought more stuff coming here than my entire family brings home from a convention." A rather weak Hiyori said.

"Which is why I needed your help carrying them. Honestly, Senpai's house is not nearly equipped enough for this. Superman might be able to take on crime using only his fists, but we humans need gadgets and such in order to compete with them."

"Remember, some humans manage by training enough," Konata added. "Like Black Leg S*nji."

"Yeah, that is correct, but I don't think any of us are on level with S*nji." Patricia admitted.

"Hold on a second. I know that I cannot stop you from coming with me, but there is no way that I will let you take on a criminal by yourselves," Superman said. "It might just be a pedophile, but he did manage to run off after I punched him. That is no small feat for a common criminal."

"I thought you held back, Supes." Konata commented. "I always figured that a punch from your full strength would knock him through the walls of the house next door."

"I held back enough not to kill him, but normal people would still have been knocked out for at least ten minutes."

"Oneechan, Patty-chan, Superman, we are going to my room. Hiyori said she needed me for something." Yutaka said. Afterwards, she left the room and Hiyori followed carrying a, compared to Patricia's inventory, small bag.

"Oh, so that was why she insisted on bringing that along." Patricia thought out aloud. "That Hiyori... She must have gotten inspired by her in the middle of the night."

"Yeah, that is probably the case. Too bad Minami-chan isn't coming." Konata answered.

"She isn't?"

"No, the demons of sickness got her father as well."

"A shame. I wonder how this will affect Hiyori's work."

"She has a good mind, she can take it."

"Mind telling me what you guys are talking about?" Superman knew that these girls had more in common with each other than Superman would ever get, but these levels of "inside understanding" was not something he could ignore. Heck, for all he knew, Tamura could be trying to rape Kobayakawa. He didn't think that was the case, but he didn't expect to meet a blue haired girl who complained about him breaking a wall when he saved her either. He kept all possibilities open right now.

"Well, Hiyori is a mangaka and Yutaka and Minami are amongst her favourite models. You should see some of her better doujin, they are quite good." Konata explained.

"An artist, huh? What kind of artist?"

"Hiyorin specializes in lily drawings, but she can draw pretty much any kind of story." Patricia answered. "Senpai, do you remember the one where Yuta- ... Oh, I mean Yurika-chan turned into a magical girl and had to save her classmate from the evil tentacle empire?"

"Yeah, I remember that one. Their leader was based off of Cthulthu, wasn't it? It was pretty unusual for Hiyorin to write that kind of story. I guess she wanted to try something different."

"Oh, so she's a manga artist. It is good to see young people interested in working. Even if the work is a bit immature" Before Superman came to Japan, he would have called her a comic artist. However, he learned that there apparently are several very important differences between manga and Western comics, not just the reading direction and art style.

"Hiyorin is dedicated to her work. If something threatened her left hand, she would be able to take down a bear." Patricia said. "She would probably improve her P.E. Grades spectacularly if we all aimed at her hand... That could actually be fun to try someday." she said, finishing off with a smile.

"Don't hurt it too badly; she is a good source of new lilies." Konata said.

Superman had yet to figure out what exactly they meant with lilies. He had a feeling they weren't just talking about their favourite flowers.

"Well, enough chit-chat," Konata spoke once more. "Let's take a look at what you have brought, Patty-chan."

Superman's eyes widened in surprise as the bags opened.

_That girl has almost as much equipment as Batman!_

* Ø * Ø *

Kagami were on her way to Konata's house alongside her sister, when Tsukasa's phone began to ring.

"Hello, Tsukasa here... Oh, hi Yuki-chan! Eto... Are you crying? Eh! Poor you, Yuki-chan. Yes, I will tell Oneechan. Good luck!" As she closed the phone, she turned to her twin.

"Oneechan, Miyuki's mother has moved her dentist appointment to this morning, so she will meet up with us in the city."

Kagami was about to answer, but then her phone began to ring. Duty-bound, she answered it, even though the number wasn't saved in her address-book.

"Hello, Kagami here. Who am I talking to?"

"Kagamin! I am sorry! I tried, but I couldn't stop her!"

"Konata? Why are you calling me? And have you changed your number! Why are you sorry anyway?"

"Patricia became impatient, so she forced us to leave ahead of time. I hope you haven't gotten too far. Turn around and meet us at Anim*te!"

Kagami was flabbergasted. That girl was incredible. However, getting angry here would only startle everyone else in the train.

"Okay. Also, no need to call Miyuki, she was going to meet up with us there anyways." Kagami said and hung up.

"Tsukasa, we have to change trains. Patricia-chan managed to make them leave without us."

"Kona-chan abandoned us?"

"It looks that way."

* Ø * Ø *

When the twins arrived at Anim*te, the rest of the gang (except Miyuki) had already arrived. Superman carried two heavy-looking bags while Patricia scouted the surroundings using a pair of pocket binoculars.

"I thought as much, but the pedophile isn't coming out in the open." Patricia said. "Let's begin searching!"

"I volunteer to search Anim*te, and risk the chance of losing all my money." Konata said, and actually made it sound like she was sacrificing herself.

But before Kagami could make her snarky remark, a voice boomed across the street.

"There is no need for that, for the enemy of Superman has shown himself!"

Atop the Anim*te store stood a figure, arms crossed and wearing a blood red visor.

"But that's... Anime Tenchou!" Konata exclaimed.

"That is correct. I have come to stop Superman's evil plan once and for all!"

Having said that, he charged roaring towards Superman, ready to smash the last son of Krypton. No matter the cost.


	7. The Clash of East and West

**Chapter 7 - The Clash of East and West**

Superman saw the man, whose face he recognized as the pedophile from the day before. Superman saw how he pretty much flew towards his target, filled the rage of a beast. However, albeit his speed was impressive, it wasn't enough to defeat the man of steel.

* Ø * Ø *

Konata too saw how Anime Tenchou stormed towards Superman, but she also saw how Superman sidestepped and dodged the ferocious attack. What she didn't see, however, was what happened underneath the large cloud of dust and debris that was thrown into the air by the pure force from Tenchou's attack. All she could see was Tenchou getting thrown out of the aforementioned cloud and sent crashing through the doors of Anim*te.

"This is awesome! We are watching a fight between two incredible characters in real life!" Patricia practically shouted. Konata couldn't disagree with the inherent awesomeness of the fight, but...

"What do you mean, awesome? This is insane, look at the damage that has been wrought already! We are lucky we haven't been hit by a stray rock and killed."

Kagami had a very good point. Even though this certainly was more exciting than watching something similar in television, it might also be a bit too dangerous. Konata looked at her little cousin, in fear this might be getting to her. The older sibling has to protect the younger, after all.

Yutaka was currently trembling alongside Tsukasa. They probably hadn't expected a fight to break out. Hiyori, on the other hand, pulled out her sketchbook and began drawing.

_I should have seen that coming, this isn't something you see every day_.

In the meantime, Tenchou had recovered from the American hero's brutal punch, and he ventured forth from the now-broken shop. He bled from his mouth, his clothes were covered in dust and the edges og his coat were torn. However, Konata could see that he hadn't given up yet.

"I underestimated you! It looks like you have more than just strength. However, that is not enough to defeat me!" Anime Tenchou shouted at his opponent, before dashing towards him once again. Superman raised his fist in preparation for a counter-attack. But there was something bugging Konata.

_He must have something planned. Repeating that tactic is not nearly enough to beat Supes._

And right she was, as Tenchou vanished right before their eyes, a split second before Superman's strike would have struck Tenchou's solar plexus. Konata noticed that he immediately appeared on a wall behind Superman, only to vanish once more.

"How do you like this!" he roared. "This is a technique developed to destroy all enemies using incredible bursts of speed. The human eye isn't capable of keeping up with this!"

Tenchou, already in the process of delivering a kick, reappeared right behind Superman.

However, Superman managed to grab Anisawa's leg using his left hand, and threw him into a neighboring building.

"The human eye might not be able to keep up, but that is why I am here to protect them."

It was official. Konata had forgotten all about Kagami's worries. It was clear that the fighters weren't interested in wounding them, and she knew that Superman would do everything he could to keep them safe. And, as Patricia said, this was awesome.

"So, who should we cheer on?" Hiyori asked, taking a short break from sketching.

"Well, I'd say Superman. We all know that he's a good guy, and while Anime Tenchou most likely is good as well, I just can't trust a guy who lures innocent people into wasting all their money with those points," Patricia said. "Plus, Superman is winning. **Go Superman!**"

"Yeah, but isn't the underdog usually the one who will prevail in the end AND the one who is in the right?" Konata countered. Not that she doubted Superman; she just needed to remind Patricia of how things usually went. "But then again, I doubt those prices could be made by anyone with a soul."

"You are wrong, but you have a right to know this fiend's true colours." Anime Tenchou had reappeared. He didn't bellow or shout like he had done the other times, but he still spoke loudly enough so that everybody could hear him. "This man... This creature has come here to destroy our culture, the very core of what makes us Japanese! Have you not heard what this guy says! The protector of truth, justice _and the American way_? His only wish is to turn us into little Hussein followers through his aura of Americaness. I WILL NOT ALLOW IT!"

Having stated his reasons, Anizawa charged forward once more, his soul burning with the fire of a thousand suns.

"GO TENCHOU!" Hiyori shouted as she apparently had made up her mind.

* Ø * Ø *

Superman was stupefied. Throughout his career, he had been accused of many things. Mainly standard stuff, such as hypocrisy and playing God. This, however, was new. This idea was so utterly nonsensical that it took him several seconds to process it. Seconds his adversary used well.

The Japanese warrior teleported once he was about 10 meters away from Superman, and the very next second his fist was planted in Superman's torso. The man of tomorrow staggered as he felt the impact ripple throughout his body.

* Ø * Ø *

"That's... Impossible." Patricia mumbled. Shewas utterly shocked by what she had seen. Sure, Tenchou might have delivered the punch at a speed that humans couldn't follow, but it should still take more than that to inflict such an injury to Superman. Much, much more.

"Wow. He actually managed to get a hit in on Superman. I guess we shouldn't count him out just yet." Konata had also noticed how unlikely this was.

"Yes, this battle between comic books and manga isn't over yet." Hiyori said. She was currently sitting down, and a finished, albeit a bit hastily drawn, picture of a Anizawa with an erupting volcano behind him now laid beside her. "In fact, I think it has just started."

Tsukasa had a less calm reaction to this.

"Superman, are you alright!" She clearly didn't appreciate that a friend, or anyone for that matter, was getting beaten up by a weirdo.

"Don't worry, Hiiragi-chan. Superman can easily take a blow like that. He has done so several times." Patricia tried to calm Tsukasa, but her efforts where attacked from an undefended flank.

"Really? But it looks like it really hurt." Yutaka said. Superman had yet to fully recover from the hit, but he had managed to avoid any further strikes Anizawa threw at him.

"That is also something I cannot figure out. Only magic should be able to inflict that kind of damage," Patricia explained to her smaller friend. "But Tenchou doesn't use magic. All he uses is martial arts and... **OH MY GOD**! Senpai, do you realize what Tenchou has done!"

"He used magic without using magic... But all he has done is chargi-… SPIRAL ENERGY!" Konata shouted the last part, startling Tsukasa and Yutaka.

"That doesn't even begin to make sense. There are no spirals here. Unless you mean that he somehow twisted his hand in a spiral position while punching, and that it somehow increased his strength." As usual, Kagami was far too pragmatic to realize what happened before her eyes. Honestly, Patricia thought Konata's best friend would have had a better education.

Patricia sighed. "**No, no, no, **Hiiragi-san. Spiral energy is an energy source species capable of evolving can tap into. It is fuelled entirely by having a RED-HOT BURNING SPIRIT!" she said.

"That makes even less sense!" Kagami countered.

"I don't get it..." Tsukasa admitted. "How does he hurt Superman? Isn't Superman supposed to be invincible?"

"Spiral energy ha-.. No, IS the power to do the impossible! In other words, Tenchou's spirit is so powerful that his mere fists count as magical attacks!" Patricia explained to the younger twin.

But before she could respond, a new figure appeared.

"I am sorry I am late." Miyuki had arrived. A small gasp escaped her mouth as she saw the store smashed. "Is there someone in Japan capable of doing such damage without explosives?"

"SEG*TA SANSHIRO!" Konata exclaimed. "Jokes aside, I think we all underestimated the power of perverts."

Naturally, that explanation did little to alleviate Miyuki's confusion.

* Ø * Ø *

In the meantime, the pervert in question had launched a flurry of blows towards the man of steel. Superman, however, parried every single one of them, despite still being weakened by the previous hit. He was still unable to get a hit in on the shopkeeper. He could do that if he sacrificed his defense, but he wasn't willing to risk too many hits like the previous one.

His enemy was surprisingly fit for a human. Superman knew several humans who were able to fight on his level without help, but they were still far from a common occurrence. Superman never enjoyed having humans as enemies, but this one in particular was tough. Not because he was too strong, but rather because he wasn't strong enough. Superman was having a hard time knocking Anime Tenchou out without hitting so hard he would die.

"Superman! Do you know why you are losing this battle!" the wild warrior roared. Superman could mention many reasons, but he was certain that Tenchou meant something that Superman would never be able to guess.

"You are in Japan!"

_I know that much._

"And Japan is the land of the rising sun!"

_And your point is? No, wait. It can't be tha-.._

"And the rising sun is RED!"

Superman felt a sudden urge to bang his head against something hard. Sometimes, people took the details too literally.

"I apologize, Tenchou-san, but I am afraid it doesn't work that way," Takara said. Superman had noticed her arrival, but hadn't expected her to interfere. "Simply scattering the star's light does not remove the photo nucleic effect. You have to replace the star entirely, if you want any effect. However, that would lead to other problems, since a red giant would most likely engulf the Earth. Of course, one could move Earth out of the range of the giant, but that would involve even more problems."

"Yuki-chan, I think he was speaking metaphorically." Konata informed her. Takara was slightly embarrassed by the ordeal, but Superman saw that the others, mainly Patricia, were baffled, and Superman could easily see why. This girl had either anticipated this very situation (which Superman doubted) or she had managed to come up with such an eloquent response within seconds.

"The colour of the sun has nothing to do with this! Superman, I shall obliterate you with the power of Otaku everywhere. This is my ultimate attack!" Tenchou bellowed.

* Ø * Ø *

_I walk the lone path of the warrior,_

Tenchou walked slowly towards Superman, with a silent flame burning in his eyes.

_My spirit is unbreakable, my will is invincible,_

Superman readied himself. An insane determination radiated from his foe.

_Until I reach the end, my feet shall ever move,_

The girls on the sideline held their breath, even Tsukasa felt the pressure.

_Thirteen royal knights gave me valor; seven demon lords gave me fury,_

It felt as if time itself slowed down, as one titan approached another.

_Destined to an eternal fight, my fists shall remain clenched,_

Anime Tenchou's raised hand began to glow with pure power. Konata, Patricia and Hiyori shivered slightly as they watched the carnage that was about to unfold.

_True power comes from the soul! _ULTIMATE DESTRUCTION!

Tenchou thrusted his fist forward. It unleashed a gigantic beam directly at Superman. The girls watched in awe as the pavement was getting torn apart underneath the ferocious attack. Superman watched calmly as the light of destruction approached him.

He promptly sidestepped it and smacked Tenchou right in the face.


	8. End of the Union

**Chapter 8 - End of the Union**

"That's cheating!" Konata yelled. "You don't just dodge your opponent's ultimate attack. You are supposed to take it head on and overpower it with your own!"

"Senpai's right, Superman! You violated the most sacred code of shounen combat!" Hiyori chipped in.

"Now, now, let us be fair to Superman. He comes from another culture; they don't even have finishing moves back in America." Patricia tried to defend the hero, or at least explain his actions.

"But I still refuse to let this count as a victory for comics! Superman clearly cheated." Konata stated.

"Agreed!" the two other otaku said.

Superman looked at the fallen human. The last blow had finally knocked him out, but the collateral damages were enormous. The shop was demolished, the surrounding buildings had several holes in them (they couldn't withstand Tenchou using them as a springboard) and the entire street was in ruins after his"ultimate attack". And the girls complained about Superman not getting hit by that. Superman knew that even if he stayed here a thousand years, he would never figure out what exactly was going through their minds.

"So, I am just dropping this guy off the local police station. I sincerely thank you for your help, even if it wasn't much." Superman said to the girls.

"Technically, he hasn't done anything illegal. He did assault you unprovoked, but we don't have any proof of that." Kagami mentioned.

"Can't we get him for vandalism? Look at the street!" Yutaka said.

"We could, but technically, Superman was the one who started that. He was the one who threw Anime Tenchou into the shop in the first place and he also broke the wall yesterday, according to Konata."

"But... didn't he sneak up on Kona-chan? Isn't that enough?" Tsukasa asked.

"Again, no proof."

"Besides, I don't want him thrown away." Konata said. "Anim*te is going to need all the help it can get if it shall recover from this."

"Well, if we aren't going to turn him in, I think it would be wise to move soon." Miyuki advised. "It is only a matter of time before the police arrive, and I don't really think we can explain what happened here."

Konata looked at her fellow otaku and said:

"Patty-chan, Hiyorin, we are going to take Supes and get out of here." Afterwards she ran towards the man of steel.

Superman sighed. _If they really want him to be free, I guess I should let them. Besides, it doesn't feel as if he is a pedophile._

Superman then felt six hands grab him and tried to move him away from the scene. And Superman moved, which surprised the girls. They probably expected him to be a 100% rule-abiding pendant that would never ignore a crime. But Superman could do so, at least this once. However, Tenchou better had one great explanation ready for when the police came by.

* Ø * Ø *

As Konata ran from the scene of the crime, she knew what was going to happen. In fact, she had known since she tried to fall asleep last night. The stories always turn out like this. Sure, there are some exceptions, but this wasn't going to be one of them. She knew that much.

"I have to get on with my mission." Superman said once they got away. "I have troubled you enough already."

"You really have to leave, Mr. Superman?" Yutaka asked, a little saddened since she probably wouldn't see him ever again.

"He has to," Patricia answered her. "Superman can't take any days off, his job is too important." However, even the American girl couldn't help but to hold a sliver of sadness in her voice.

Konata knew that Patricia had realized it too. When the problem is solved the world always returns to the way it was before. No exceptions.

"Patricia's right. If I am too late it might result in several innocents being hurt." Superman said. "I can't afford to waste more time than necessary."

However, Konata had no interest in an ordinary ending.

"Wait a second!" she shouted at Superman (despite him being a few meters away at most). "As payment for our assistance taking down the insanely powerful Anime Tenchou, I have a request!"

It seemed as if Superman thought for a second, but then he said:"Okay, what is it?"

_That actually worked? He must have taken a liking to us_

"You must fly each of us to our homes! You should be able to do that quickly."

"I could, but I don't know where any of you, besides you, Konata, and Kobayakawa, live."

"Everybody, give Yuki-chan your addresses! She will then be Superman's guide."

"Eto... I am sorry to disappoint, but it is not like I know every street in Japan." Miyuki said, flustered by being unable to help. "I would probably get us lost somewhere along the way."

"Hmm... Then Supes will just take us to the station, and we will find our own way back from there." Konata said, addressing her schoolmates rather than the hero she was talking about.

"Can you really do that, Mr. Superman?" Tsukasa asked him, fidgeting slightly as she did. _She is probably afraid that we are a bothering him_. Konata thought.

"I have once gone toe-to-toe with Batman, I think carrying seven girls is no problem," Superman chuckled slightly. "However, you will have to hang on tight. We can't have anyone falling off."

"YAY! Oneechan, did you hear that? We are going to fly!" Tsukasa was ecstatic; she even jumped and gave her twin a big hug.

"I heard it, Tsukasa." Kagami sent her sister a warm smile. "Now, could you please let go of me, you are making it a little hard to breathe."

Tsukasa let go of her sister immediately, beef red and apologizing like there was no tomorrow.

"Honestly, Tsukasa, you are such a kid sometimes." Kagami said, still wearing her smile from before.

Konata couldn't help but notice that Hiyori was sketching once more. "That's our Hiyorin, never missing a chance."

"Yup, when it comes to models, she has the eyes of a hawk." Having said that, Patricia walked up to her classmate to enjoy the work in progress.

"Well, we better get going. All aboard!" Superman said, the childish behaviour of Tsukasa had clearly smitten off on him as he treated them like kindergarteners. Not that Konata minded, though. If that was the price of another flight with the man of steel, Konata would gladly have paid twice as much.

First Superman tried to hold them all in his arms, but they proved to be too many for that. Instead, Superman carried Yutaka, Miyuki, Hiyori and Tsukasa in his arms, while Konata sat on his shoulders and Kagami and Patricia held on to one of his legs each. Needless to say, Superman flying was now a sight to behold.

* Ø * Ø *

Thankfully for the girls on the arms, and unfortunately for Tsukasa and Yutaka, who were having the time of their lives, the station was close by. "And this is where you get off." Superman said as he landed.

He had gained a smile from seeing Tsukasa's excitement, but it vanished as he began to speak again. "And this is where we say goodbye."

Tsukasa was about to say something, but Patricia interrupted her. "**No**, this has to happen."

Upon realizing this, Tsukasa's eyes darkened. She had never been good at goodbyes, even if she didn't know the person very well. And she wasn't the only one. All of the girls felt the sting that a goodbye always leaves. Even Superman had gotten attached to this little ensemble of girls.

As Superman began to rise from the ground, the girls began shouting at him.

"Goodbye Superman! Thanks for the flight!"

"I still don't think you won, but you did a good job anyways!"

"**Goodbye Superman! I hope to see you again someday!**"

"Good luck, Superman! It has been fun meeting you."

"**Superman, I apologize again that I couldn't help your search for Lex Luthor. Farewell!"**

"If you ever come to Japan again, make sure to pay us a visit! Until then, goodbye!"

"Bye Superman! It has been awesome!"

"Goodbye girls! Remember to do your homework!" Superman shouted back, as he flew off into the distance.

And even as their paths separated, they knew that no one would forget what had happened these two days. It had been a meeting of a lifetime.

* * *

AN: This is the end, huh?  
Personally, I think I did a pretty good job with this crossover. There are a ton of references in it, some more subtle than others (Even if some make a throwing fireball to the face a subtle way of saying "I don't like you" in comparison).  
But please review it, or at least send me a PM with your opinion. I don't plan on making my first fanfic my final as well, so I could use your input to become a even better writer!

Oh, and thanks for reading this!


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